I'm back, you miss me?

OK, so it's been a while. My bad. But no-one really complained (apart from Will Anderson) so it's your own fault. It's been one of those days that suggests, 'You really have nothing better to do than sport a pair of swimming goggles and kick start Spratticus again.' So I will.



...and of course listen to a spot more of Freaky Realistic's unreleased gems.

I'm back. Believe it. [Check your Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu if you don't believe me.]

A stroll in the park

Regents Park & Primrose Hill, London
Just been mooching about snapping in the moody sunshine and showers we've been having lately. I think the below should give you a flavour of autumn in London.




...and if it doesn't, entertain yourself with Whoopee's little gem of a Burns-esque poem,aptly named Winter Days With Pants. If it doesn't crack you up, check you've still got a pulse or haven't become Austrian.

Dog Days of Summer BBQ

Camden, London
The Flying Suit Fruity party on Saturday was a riotous success in many ways. In others it was less so. People flocked to Bole Mansions for the final farewell to the Dog Days of Summer BBQ. Booze...well that flowed...uh...huh. People from the five oceans and seven seas of my friendships; they came, they ate, they drank and they did chat.

England won a momentous Rugby World Cup semi-final against France thereby progressing to a very unexpected final against South Africa this coming weekend...but not without casualties.

I was almost lynched.

I forgot that I had programmed the TV recorder doo-dah-thingy (known by the residents of Bole Mansions...errr...that'd be me...as The Nuclear Sub for its mind-boggling complexity of operation) to record A Beautiful Mind. Fine. Well, no, not fine really as the film was on at about the same time as the second half of The Rugby Game. A quirk of the recorder is that it plays what you're recording, not necessarily what you or a large number of rugby fevered folk want to watch. There really is Jack Shit you, I (Jack Spratticus) or indeed Jack Bauer could do about it once the nuclear sub heads out on its course.

So at the nail biting, quick bleeding, piss stained crotch of The Rugby Game's crux, the film, let me remind you - A Beautiful Mind, started playing thereby usurping The Rugby Game with Ron Howard's best directorial efforts and seriously disgruntling a worryingly large number of camel coloured corduroy jacket toting, atypically angry types who were within a gnat's nut sack of spatchcocking me on the BBQ. I took solice in...well...more booze really.

Apparently my last conscious uttering was to the hot coals of the BBQ, something about 'it was an easy mistake to make' and 'no one understands me' whilst I caressed their rosy prettiness with a bamboo stick. Spratticus was declared collapsed and in a coma at 00:15, Sun October 14, 2007.



(L) Party food; (R) Seb & Iona




(L) Me looking perplexed; (R) Matthew Ledger in full England kit



(L) Christina & Jo buying another 6 bottles of prosecco; (R) Jo, Tom & Imo


(L) Just before I was lynched; (R) Carl & Leo



(R) Shelly & ear arm; (R) Simon, Ollie, Lizzie, Shelly

Sloe day in Buckinghamshire

Olney, Buckinghamshire
Since returning from my travels I feel I have rather neglected Ma Spratticus. She took the trouble to bring me into this world, teach me right from wrong and the art of fencing with a car aerial amongst other essential lessons. She fed me strange offal based food stuffs and has insisted in latter years in calling me everything but my actual christian name, so I figured it was high time she was paid a visit. So it was back to the Shires for a few days last week.

And just to maintain all the stereotypes about retired teachers who live in small Shire county market towns, belong to book clubs, drive roller-skates with a motor and who are stalwarts of the local Women's Institute: we went collecting sloes and blackberries with which to make all sorts of fine home produced fayre; namely sloe gin, bramble brandy, bramble tart and apple & blackberry pie. Happy days.


Sloe bushes live up to their name. They are not fast so 'catching' the berries is really quite simple, even for someone like me. It's amazing they've lasted so long in the evolutionary stampede.

Here's Ma Spratticus rounding up a handful of blackberries. Very few berries are quick enough to escape her hawk like reactions.

Bramble picking. Displaying my blushing case of black-finger.

The fruits of our labours...oh dear. [I have realised quite how baking orientated the BligBlagBlog has become in the last couple of months. I really can't account for it.]

Before committing the sloes to their boozy fate, I made an art installation called Sloe Down III. I sent this snap to Sheena Wagstaff, Chief Curator of the Tate Modern but she didn't share my vision so fortunately we got to make sloe gin after all. Phew.


And here it is: Ma Spratticus' Sloe Gin. For the record: 700ml gin, 1.5kg sloes (pricked...that is run through with a skewer to help release the juice) and 800g of fine caster sugar. Store in a cool dark place and shake vigorously weekly. Try to resist sampling daily. Gestation period three months plus.

Bramble brandy recipe is same as above but you don't need to skewer the blackberries. They squeal of their own accord without the violence.

Coming soon, the gripping tale of my lemon curd hunting expedition to Burkina Faso.

Free Burma march & rally, London

Here are a few snaps from the Free Burma march in London on Saturday 6 October. Great to see the supportive crowd although since then, it really feels like the Burma issue has dropped out of the public's consciousness completely. News of talk of threatened sanctions is about all that's getting press. Meanwhile, what the hell's happening within the country?

Trafalgar Square, London, Free Burma march and rally, Sat 6 October, 2007.

Trafalgar Square lion adorned with Free Burma red ribbons.
[Since posting this, the I've been asked to include the above two snaps on the Free Burma Group pics on Flickr...which is jolly.]


Base of Nelson's Column, commemorating his victory at the Battle of Copenhagen, 1801. Someone had tied a red Free Burma ribbon on one of the toes of the figures. It looked rather dramatic...a bit like the chap's foot was bleeding. I'm sure there's a more esoteric and meaningful analogy to be made...but it escapes me.

Monty Python announces Burma sanctions

From the BBC website this morning. I really can't believe this. Quick double check. No, it's 16 October not 1 April:

"Earlier on Monday, the European Union agreed new punitive measures against Burma.

On top of a travel ban and a freeze on assets, Burma's generals now face fresh embargoes on some of their more lucrative exports - including jade, rubies and teak.

However, correspondents say, European sanctions have had practically no impact on Burma, as more than 90% of the country's trade is with its Asian neighbours.

The new measures will not prevent the French energy giant Total from doing business with the junta, though diplomats say that may come later."

Good stuff. That's a clear and strong message carrying all the clout of Ken Dodd's tickling stick.

Free Burma!

Burma death toll, now and future?
In the week since the Burmese junta's use of force to quell the country's popular uprising, hard news from within Burma is proving hard to get. The Internet is rife with rumours of what's happening, but what seems to be undeniable is that monks have been targeted by the military and forcibly removed from monasteries. Where they have gone, what they have endured and how long they will be detained, or indeed remain alive, is unclear. Rest assured they aren't being given Darjeeling and tea cakes.

Unsubstantiated reports (here for example) suggest a systematic and organised massacre of monks. I wouldn't be surprised.

It also seems that the military is looking to arrest instigators and participants in the anti-government demonstrations from the public at large. Again, no surprise there.

The death toll from the street clashes is still officially stated as 10 and yet US diplomatic staff themselves said they witnessed dead in numbers that were multiples of that figure. The Democratic Voice of Burma, an exiles' media group based in Oslo, states that in the aftermath of the protests, they have the names of 138 citizens that they cannot account for or locate.

World action needed
What has and is happening will only become apparent, long after the event. What we do know without doubt is that people have suffered, are suffering and will continue to suffer, probably on a scale that will prove shocking. The evidence is there. The likelihood of orchestrated mass killings is too great and obvious to ignore. The world needs to act not stand around looking at its shoes rather embarrassed.

Desmond Tutu summed it up better than I could ever do:

"Protracted hand-wringing, the counter economic interests of some countries, and an absence of courage and vision over the years, have meant that there has been no coherent international government strategy on how to tackle Burma's intransigent rulers." (August 2006)

More true now than ever. Forget half-hearted visits from a UN Special Envoy (Ibrahim Gambari), and frankly he was made to look like the military junta's bitch. There needs to be some hard approaches from those countries that have economic interests within Burma and that doesn't just mean China, India, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Japan. There are BIG Western interests in Burma, not least and not surprisingly - oil giants: Chevron & Total. (By the way, Chevron own Texaco if you want to do the right thing at the petrol pumps...then again, what petrol pump can you 'do the right thing' by using?)

US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice (ex-board member of Chevron) said at a recent meeting of the Association of South East Asians Nations, "The United States is determined to keep an international focus on the travesty that is taking place." Bullshit. Chevron oil flows out of Burma and money flows into the pockets of the junta's generals. Everyone is happy apart from the starving Burmese population who funnily enough don't benefit at all...apart from maybe getting labouring work on the oil projects...that is work as a forced labourer i.e. a slave.

China - Big Brother's big brother
China needs to be pulled into line to exert a pressure for change on Burma and stop adopting a development before democracy attitude. And what better way than a threat on the success of the 2008 Olympics? The Western partners of Beijing 2008, Adidas, Atos Origin, Johnson & Johnson and VW need to withdraw or at least threaten to withdraw support for the Olympics. See how quickly China will come around. And if it doesn't, those companies shouldn't be there anyway.

If the new world powers are actually the massive multinational companies that wield power over the politicians or are simply run by politicians with vested interests, then they need to be brought into account and forced to act responsibly and ethically. The only people that can force that are those that make them so powerful through buying their products...so that'll be you and me then?

UN resolution
Russia and China need to stop vetoing a UN Security Council resolution on Burma. Again, pressure must come to bear on them to do the right thing. Russia and China argue that human rights is outside the council's agenda of upholding international peace and security. International. Hmmm. So the thousands upon thousands of Karen tribe refugees in borderland refugee camps in Thailand isn't an international issue? This is only going to get worse with the latest crack-down and brutality towards Burmese freedom protesters.

There needs to be a UN Human Rights Council condemnation of the military junta's action against the country's people and a complete UN arms embargo, supported by China, Russia & India. What valid reason can anyone give to refuse a UN embargo on arms trade with Burma? It's deplorable. Why does international support have to be so reactionary and after the event?

In addition, there needs to be targeted sanctions by all EU members cutting off financial, trade and military relations with Burma including freezing any assets and bank accounts traceable to the State Peace and Development Council regime. (What a joke of a name.) Germany and Austria are the guilty parties here.

What's the world watching now? MTV?
1955, Montgomery, Alabama, USA. Rosa Parks ignited the Civil Rights Movement by refusing to give her seat up to a white man on a segregated bus. One woman in a small southern US backwater changed the shape of the most powerful nation on earth. Burma is about thousands of people calling for change and basic human rights, at great personal risk and under the scrutiny and awareness of the world. How can we ignore it?

In the days during the demonstrations, the phrase 'The world is watching you' was bandied about, a warning to the Burmese dictatorship that anything like the repeat of the 1988 massacre of over 3000 democracy protesters would be internationally unacceptable. A statement that any similar brutal reaction to peaceful demonstration would provoke massive international outrage and punitive action. But then the plug is pulled on the media news feed from Burma.

The world is watching you...until you prevent the world seeing what's going on and we all get bored of the 'Apologies for the interruption in transmission' message, shrug en masse and switch over to MTV. Just because we can't see or hear the Burmese people shouting, doesn't mean to say they aren't shouting. Stay tuned people!

[BTW, normal Spratticus flippancy, banality and nonsense will resume shortly.]

March for Burma, LONDON UK
Sat 6 October, 2007, 11:00am, Tate Britain, Pimlico - Trafalgar Square (c.12:45pm). Wear red. I'm going in a full Diablo devil suit complete with horns, tail and trident. (See what I mean about the flippancy!)

And here's a fascinating photo blog with rare (perhaps the only) images of the Burmese military rulers' new jungle capital at Naypyidaw. Incredible folly. Naypyidaw: Abode of Kings in a Derelict Kingdom

Burma fervour

Camden, London
So first up, Ros made it out of Burma after being seemingly the only western journalist in the country for the past week...or at least the only one using her own name in by-lines. I've not got the low down yet on whether she had to be smuggled out in the back of a rice lorry in a stitched up burlap sack or she simply boarded a plane and waved cheerio. The good news is she's safe. No news from those still there though as the Internet and comms black-out seems to be working frustratingly effectively.

==========

[As I've been typing I've received an email from Ros:

... All a very sorry story there as you know. Very sad. I was a little jumpy and moved hotel three times - very John Le Carre. But they have bigger fish to fry than me, like those poor monks...]

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Tomorrow, 4 October, is International Bloggers' Day for Burma. For more info check out http://www.free-burma.org/. If you have any web presence or a blog then make a post with Free Burma! as the title and display a supportive graphic and text (I'm guessing relevant to Burma rather than Preston's 5-1 win over Southampton the other day).


Also Saturday 6 October is Global Day of Action for Burma with solidarity marches in major cities and capitals throughout the world, at least in those countries where public protest is allowed. In London there is a march in support of the Burmese people and their struggle for democracy. It leaves from outside Tate Britain in Pimlico at 11:00 and heads towards Trafalgar Square for c.12:45. Wear red. Headbands are tipped as being quite in vogue. For more information see:
http://www.burmacampaign.org.uk/pm/weblog.php?id=P290.


To be honest, I talked to Jo about going to this and as we both have an irrational fear of crowds (would that be a phobia?), we worked out a compromise - we'd go to the start, then take the dotty boat down the Thames to the Tate Modern, have a coffee and then saunter over at our own pace to the fringes of Trafalgar Square for some chanting and placard waving. I know, I know, it's hardly setting myself on fire in protest or lying down in front of columns of rolling tanks but I'm trying to work within my mental confines here.

Of other less consequential issues, my TagBoard (right) seems to have started displaying advertising. Not happy. I want this to be an ad free blog apart from about those issues, bands, flats for rent, films about bikes, Gerry Mitchell CDs that you can pick up from Amazon for £0.01 etc I choose to promote. Tried to fix the problem by reloading the Tag code (the simple no-ad Tag code) but it seems it's still popping up ads. Grrrr. Don't worry, I haven't sold out...I'll try and fix it when I get a chance.


I've also been suffering from a headache for days now. OK, two days, but it's unlike me and so naturally I am convinced I have a brain tumour. I really hope it isn't the case, it'd be such a frightful bore.