Perth - it's odd, but it's good

Perth, Australia - Jan '07
Some time in late Jan I arrived in Perth (the exact date escapes me as it was a little while ago, hech hem). Here I was met at the airport by Jo & Cam (or JoCam as they are one really) and I was boarded & lodged, fed & watered, amused & entertained [Enough, Ed.]. Jo & Cam are friends of Jo Bole's from her time in the Hague, whom I've met on several occasions. They couldn't have extended greater hospitality if they'd had a great big hospitality extending machine in a crimson velvet travel pouch (what?).

A few facts for those unaware (as I was): Perth is the most remote city of its size in the world and is nearer to Jakarta than Sydney; it can be very hot; it's not much like Perth in Scotland. Getting in from a cool 20 degree Adelaide I was greeted by the brick in the face Perth blast furnace of 42 degrees - ouch. Time was spent sweating, wilting, familiarising myself with the city by bike (of course), witnessing lightning storms whilst body surfing in the Indian Ocean (ear still knacked by the way), swimming in JoCam's friends', Bret & Megan's pool, fine dining and Open Air Cinema (OAC).

OAC - fantastic stuff. In fact the best thing to discover since finding out you can 'short change' the tumble driers in the university halls of residence by popping your 20p in a plastic bag before poking it in the coin slot, thereby retrieving the coin after cranking the dial. Naughty but highly satisfying.

They say pictures speak a thousand words so to save me writing a 10,000 word thesis here are some snaps. Not all of them will tell you much about Perth but they amuse me and that's the most important thing, right?

A taster of the day ahead - nigh on 30 degrees at 9:30am. I dread to think how the fat chef, Swelter, from the Royal Oak would cope in these conditions. No, I really dread to think...so I will banish that thought.

The moody Indian Ocean. Get in! I did.

JoCam with picnic at the Sommerville OAC. Terrific stuff. First film we saw was a beauty called Walking Alone for Thousands of Miles. It was a Japanese film and included a scene of an old man taking a picture of a young lad having a crap. Hmmm. It was good though...the film rather than that scene. I'll leave that there. The other film we saw was a Norwegian number called The Bothersome Man. The title amused me immensely (as did the film). I won't go into why but Claire will understand.
I'm a bit obsessed with all things maritime so Freemantle Maritime Museum was a must. Please excuse my indulgence here. Ooh, a submarine.

Tiddly Pom - wow a crane.
Lah dee dah - torpedo tubes, great stuff.

OK, this made me laugh. The text on the torpedo reads: 'If found notify NUWES, 9284 Balboa Ave, San Diego CA 92123, Phone:...' Are they having a laugh? Imagine:

'Hi, yes, is that NUWES? Well, it seems some bastard that you sold some weapons to has fired a torpedo at us and it failed to detonate. Would you like it back? Yes, I can post it but it'll have to be C.O.D. as we're a bit short of petty cash here on the sub.'

This also tickled me. Outside the Maritime Museum were some engravings depicting the jobs that immigrants coming to Freemantle would do. It seems that ladies helped primarily with the big Australian challenge to steal the crown of World Swiss Roll Capital from Geneva. I wonder what the gents were up to?

Of course, they were getting hammered drinking wine from the bladder of a wine box. [By the way, wine boxes are universally popular with young 'travellors' in Australia. The wine from a wine box, indeed the whole apparatus as well, is called The Goon. Don't ask me why.]


Right, almost done. Let's finish with a picture of a brazen pelican. There really is no better way to sign off.

Let's GO!