Savvanakhet, Laos
I've never been a very regular shaver. With my current wayfaring lifestyle I am even more sporadic but that's not to say I don't put my mind to the world of shaving occasionally. It's been cropping up lately with the final squeeze on my tube of beloved Shave.
I was remembering back to the disposable razor 'Cold War' stalemate in the 80s between Gillette and Wilkinson Sword when two bladed disposables were the cutting edgein disposable razor sophistication. Sure, the two super powers of shaving would trade minor blows with swivel heads and aloe vera lube strips, but it was pretty much a period of sensible calm.
Then Gillette forged ahead with the three bladed Mach 3. Wow! They must still talk about that heady R&D meeting with the same hallowed reverence that nuclear history buffs refer to The Manhattan Project. The atmosphere in the room must have been electric...in a wet shave type of way.
Bob: We've got to come up with something new soon or those Wilkson Sword boys are going to trump us.
Norm: Hmmm. True. Let's see. What about adding another blade to our Gillette Blue II? That would knock the stuffing out of the Wilkos!
Bob: That's genius, Norm! What shall we call it?
Norm: Hmmm, good question. How about the Gillette Blue III?
Bob: I don't think so. It's too similar to the II. This is revolutionary, it needs to be totally different.
Norm: The Gillette Green III?
Bob: Naaa. The Wilkos have the whole 'green thing' sewn up. We'd be playing into their hands and look like their bitches!
Norm: Yeah, you're right.
Norm: Hey, what about the Mach 3?
Bob: That's IT! It says speed, it says efficiency, it says fighter jets and we love them. Brilliant!
[High Fives all round.]
Bob: Pub?
Norm: Sure.
[Idle conversation overheard as they exit the room...]
Bob: So how's that paper on the The relative merits of linear downstroke shaving over sinuous technique coming on?
Norm: Not so well.
Bob: Shame.
So, now we have the 'blade race' surging ahead. I guess it wasn't a huge leap of imagination to the four (Quattro?) or are we up to five now (The V)?...I'm losing track. How long before we have some form of post fixed in our bathrooms with thousands of parallel blades attached to it that we rub our cheeks up against?
Nope, it's getting ridiculous and all this ablutionary one-up-manship, along with my current state of not needing to shave, has got me thinking: we need to go back to basics, to the raw principles of the chap's routine and keep it simple. So ladies and gentleman, it is with great honour and pride I present to you the soon to be patented:
I've never been a very regular shaver. With my current wayfaring lifestyle I am even more sporadic but that's not to say I don't put my mind to the world of shaving occasionally. It's been cropping up lately with the final squeeze on my tube of beloved Shave.
I was remembering back to the disposable razor 'Cold War' stalemate in the 80s between Gillette and Wilkinson Sword when two bladed disposables were the cutting edge
Then Gillette forged ahead with the three bladed Mach 3. Wow! They must still talk about that heady R&D meeting with the same hallowed reverence that nuclear history buffs refer to The Manhattan Project. The atmosphere in the room must have been electric...in a wet shave type of way.
Bob: We've got to come up with something new soon or those Wilkson Sword boys are going to trump us.
Norm: Hmmm. True. Let's see. What about adding another blade to our Gillette Blue II? That would knock the stuffing out of the Wilkos!
Bob: That's genius, Norm! What shall we call it?
Norm: Hmmm, good question. How about the Gillette Blue III?
Bob: I don't think so. It's too similar to the II. This is revolutionary, it needs to be totally different.
Norm: The Gillette Green III?
Bob: Naaa. The Wilkos have the whole 'green thing' sewn up. We'd be playing into their hands and look like their bitches!
Norm: Hey, what about the Mach 3?
Bob: That's IT! It says speed, it says efficiency, it says fighter jets and we love them. Brilliant!
Norm: Sure.
Bob: So how's that paper on the The relative merits of linear downstroke shaving over sinuous technique coming on?
Norm: Not so well.
So, now we have the 'blade race' surging ahead. I guess it wasn't a huge leap of imagination to the four (Quattro?) or are we up to five now (The V)?...I'm losing track. How long before we have some form of post fixed in our bathrooms with thousands of parallel blades attached to it that we rub our cheeks up against?
Nope, it's getting ridiculous and all this ablutionary one-up-manship, along with my current state of not needing to shave, has got me thinking: we need to go back to basics, to the raw principles of the chap's routine and keep it simple. So ladies and gentleman, it is with great honour and pride I present to you the soon to be patented:
00000000000000000000000000000000
ZERO
The concept is devilishly simple: no need to shave - no need for blades. The Zero is lighter than a bladed model, slimmer and is easier to pack for travel. And with care, just one Zero will last you a lifetime. It's also catching a modish wave with the current trend for the retro chic beard and will be the must have accessory in any J.R.Tusting leather wash bag.
What's more the Zero works without any need for expensive shaving creams or gels, after shave lotions or moisturisers so it will save the user money. It really is as simple as that.
I thank you!
[I think I might have too much time on my hands.]
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