Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho Chi Minh we go

Mui Ne, Vietnam coast
So fare-thee-well Phnom Pen, Cambodia and 'Hello there!' Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam...otherwise known as Saigon. The journey south east through Cambodia and over the border to Vietnam was pretty unremarkable...so I shan't remark on it really. OK, just a little. The only way you knew you were in Vietnam as opposed to Cambodia (other than having your passport stamped at the border crossing of course - a sure fire give away) was that the road and shop signs changed. Out went the complicated (for me) Cambodian script that looks like a drawing of a city skyline. In came the monosyllabic, staccato, roman script of Vietnamese complete with an abundance of 'b's, 'v's, 'x's and 'c's. Actually, it's equally indecipherable (for me).

So my first impression of Ho Chi Minh City? Two mangy dogs stuck together in a post-coital tangle; the male unable to withdraw from the female due to an unfortunate spasm of the female's yonni (medical term). I've heard it often happens to foxes and the Jack Russell (breed of dog as opposed to ex-England wicket keeper) but I've never witnessed it. The poor muts. The male had managed to dismount but his tackle was still firmly tethered creating a sort of canine Push-Me-Pull-You (Woof-Me-Woof-You).

I have to say I have been a bit trigger shy with the camera, maybe on account of all the scare stories about determined HCMC street thieves, or maybe I simply haven't been in the shooting mood. I didn't feel this afforded the right opportunity to start snapping and spared their doggy blushes. I have done a little sketch for you though:



The doggy nature of the scene reminded me of a joke that always makes me laugh.

[Two guys in a pub having a pint, Bert & Reg. Reg has his dog with him. The dog proceeds to lick its own balls.]

Bert commenting on dog's activity: Blimey Reg, it's amazing isn't it. I wish I could do that.
Reg: Give him a biscuit Bert and he might let you.


Ho ho ho.

Other than that? Well, HCMC was fun. Busier and more vibrant that Phnom Pen with more motos if that were possible. Did the usual: Vietnam War Remnants Museum (or American War as they call it here. And why not? They weren't fighting themselves...well...actually they kinda were but it was the Yanks that were the main protagonists), National Museum, a couple of temples but to be honest I think I was a little tired of city dwelling.

I have since adjourned to the coast about four hours north of HCMC for some R&R (huh? Has it been such a stressful time of late?) - a place called Mui Ne. Pretty relaxing spot but the local industry is producing fermented fish sauce so there's an over powering & pungent odour in the air.


Which made me think of Mel Brookes for some reason. Here's a minute of fun for those with the time; a bit of 2000 Year Old Man (if my embedding works that is):

On the way here I managed to attract a bit of a limpet. The sort of companion you don't want to hang around with but can't seem to dislodge. I suppose I could have reverted to some of his own blunt language.


Let's call him James...as that was his name. Without being too 'travellor' and snobbish about it, I wonder why he bothered leaving Wimbledon in the first place. Comments include:

'This mash potato [uh huh] is fucking rubbish.'
'Can't wait to get to Oz so I don't have to eat all this local shit.'
[What like the mash potato?]
'I just tell moto touts to f-u-c-k o-f-f.'

[To bunch of Vietnamese lads watching him play pool] 'Errr...do you mind pissing off?'

Etc etc etc. The odd thing was he was really into bird watching. I guess you can't stereotype a twitcher (or birder as he told me is the new slang term - cunning). He's now left so I feel a little more relaxed not trying to skulk around and be vague about where I'm going to be for dinner etc.

And as an end piece to this rather patchy post, and of no interest to anyone but Will Anderson probably, when my phone shuts down to standby, it has decided to display an image of Will Anderson raising a glass of Adnams Ale in the King's Head in Roupell Street, Waterloo. (I do have that image on my phone, it's not that spooky.) Well, I guess Will is a fine fella, it's a great boozer and a jolly decent drop, so why not?


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