The day I met my tailor (Hello Tailor!)

Singapore - 16-18 Mar, 2007

So, was I ready for the culture shock of leaving behind the western trappings and English language of the past five months and immersing myself in Asia? Oh yeah! The moment I got out of the airport (well, OK, off the spotless and efficient MRT rail system) it all felt so different and so much more exciting. Don't get me wrong, Singapore will go head-to-head with nearly any western city in terms of buildings, transport network, shops, (property prices!)...pretty much anything, in fact I'd say it would get them in a very strong half-Nelson and perhaps give them a Dutch rub. But it is unmistakeably Asian: the people, the food, the smells, the bustle...albeit the shallow end of Asia, which was a good introduction for the likes of me.

One funny incident on my second day: whilst walking around Singapore's China Town this large Indian guy, well over 6ft with teeth like old gravestones and wearing what could be described as the outcasts from P.T.Barnham's wardrobe, stood directly in my path. He announced in a booming voice:

'Welcome to Singapore. I AM YOUR TAILOR!'

I couldn't help laughing out loud, hopefully not in an offensive way. Perhaps what I should have said was: 'I was wondering where you've been, you're 36 years behind schedule with my thornproof tweed two piece' ...but I don't think that fast and it could have been difficult to explain. In fact probably has you confused, right?

As usual, here are some snaps:

My guest house in a street in Little India.

See what I mean, quite Indian...as opposed to China Town or the Malay quarter (or maybe it's a third).

More proof of the area's ethnicity, if it were needed.

Here I have juxtaposed the old colonial Singapore with the modern high rise version of the city. I am now going to get into a scratchy black polo neck and Lafont eyeglasses and juxtapose a bullet with my head.

I think you can see where this is going.

And there we have it, the Singapore Sling at The Raffles Hotel. Cliched, yes, but it's gotta be done.

Shared my trip to Raffles with a couple from my guesthouse - Anthony & Jeannot (check out a very similar shot of them on their Blog) from Richmond but taking a break before moving back to their home town of Glasgow (what is it with me and my affinity to Glaswegians?). Anthony had me in stitches - he's an actor & children's entertainer (Mr Boo) and was recounting a Harry Potter party for the 8 year old son of someone in a big house in Richmond, for legal reasons let's call her Ms H. As you'd imagine with a bunch of spoilt 8/9 yr olds it took a while to win them over. And then the father turns up (we shall call him Mr J) in full pirate outfit and starts waving a steel bladed machete around as his cutlass. Anthony, envisaging some heinous disaster that will land him in prison, suggests it's not a good idea and Ms H comes into the room and there ensues a domestic between her and Mr J with Anthony chipping in every now and again with 'I think I'm with Ms H on this one, Mr J' and 'Perhaps you and your son can play with the dangerous implement after the show and once I've left!'

Peace resumes and the show goes on with Mr J in pirate outfit lounging on a couch at the back of the room and barracking the magic show with 'Rubbish!' 'I saw you put it up your sleeve!' etc etc much to the stifled annoyance of Anthony. He quietens down and there's a game involving the kids holding a sheet and bouncing a rubber chicken on it trying to avoid being hit by the chicken (sounds just a little surreal). Anthony in his wizard outfit is accompanying proceedings by prancing about playing the Benny Hill theme tune on a kazoo. Mr J pipes up 'That's Benny Hill, right? Cool!' and proceeds to start jumping around too, clapping, singing and jamming along. Anthony wished he had a camera at that point to capture on film what even the most hallucinogenic drugs Mr J ALLEGEDLY took in his youth could not have recreated!!! As you can imagine, after a few cocktails and this story, I was weeping tears of laughter.

Decided one afternoon to go for a nice stroll and this is where I ended up. Nice.

I found this surreal plant pot in the street I was staying both fascinating and scary.

And that's Singapore.